Saturday, July 10, 2010
Change.
Why is changing so hard? I mean when you really want something to be different, I mean REALLY REALLY REALLY want something to be different. When you're willing to do whatever work it takes and sacrifice the necessary things, etc. Why is it so damn hard? Take for example, I know eating less, eating healthy, and exercising will add years to my life. Seriously, YEARS! Those years could mean the difference between seeing my grandchildren graduating from college or get married or even holding my great grandchildren. What stronger motivator could there possibly be?
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2 comments:
This is a dilemma I know you know that I've dealt with my whole life. Even in freaking "maintenance" mode. I get all pissed off. For example, right now I'm packing a cooler with my lunch in it for today at the beach. Every night I have to plan out my days, regarding food. And each day, I have to try and follow it. And I have to admit, I have not been doing a stellar job like I did in my weight loss phase.
Even though I was able to lose the weight, the support for the work has disappeared. There's no change in clothes, the number on the scale can really only go up after you've reached "goal." You'll never see a smaller number.
So, I keep trying to find new things I can do with my body. Things I wouldn't have been able to do 2 years ago. That kind of works as a motivator. But, I hate that even though I'm "small" now. I can gain 8 lbs in a week simply by eating out twice. And unlike when I was bigger, I can totally see where that 8 lbs ends up (usually bloating around the middle.)
Sometimes I want to just say screw it. If the idea of grandchildren is a good motivator for you to choose something for yourself, that is awesome. But food has been my coping mechanism for so long. It's frustrating that I can't just look at it and say, "It's food, who cares?" Instead, I think, "God, I really want that brownie on a stick, even though I know they're for children..."
Because we both know, if I put it near my lips, I wouldn't eat just ONE brownie. And that's my food addiction.
Don't beat yourself up. You are a beautiful, delightful woman. Seriously! And have you seen how your genes have churned out some absolutely gorgeous children?
You make goals and keep pounding away at them. You'll make them happen. I have faith in you.
Looseyfur, you rock.
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