Monday, August 25, 2008

Breaking Barriers

So bear with me, I'm going to play a little game...let's name all the people we know who have 1-2 children...And I'm pulling these women from all parts of my life, but they have to be this generation...not my parents/grandparents etc....
Ms. Interupted
Rachel and her Bump, now Baby
Mrs. Chicken
K and boys
My AK sister
My PA sister
S and girls
T and boy/girl
T and her boy and bump
D and girl
Big Matthew
M and her C
T-Dad's brother with 1 girl
Deb and her 1 boy/ 1 girl
J and his J + one

Now, let's name the people we know with more than 2 kids...
Angelina Jolie (but she's rich and I'm sure has several nannies, doesn't really count.)
K and 2 girls/1 boy
D and 2 girls/2 boys
C and 4 girls
T-Dad's brother with 5-ish

Not an even list. Not close at all. Why is the third child barrier not broken more? Hmmmm...


Leeanthro said...

We don't want to be outnumbered!

I have read that women who are more educated are waiting longer and having fewer children. (on average)

I didn't have my first until in my 30's. Two is definitely the right number for us.

Lavender Lemonade said...

Hey Leeanthro- Thanks for stopping by. And yeah, the 1:1 ratio, very good and valid point. Interesting statistic...more educated women are waiting longer and having fewer...hmmmm, I wonder if there are statistics for women with more than 2 losing their minds...just wondering.

Quigs78 said...

Just out of curiosity - why are you questioning 3 kid barriers?

Or looking for statistics for women with more than 2 kids?

Last I counted, you had two...

Looseyfur said...

Leeanthro brings up a valid point.

If most folks who went to college (I'm guessing that's what she means by educated in this sense) aren't parents until they're in their 30's, then most of the people you know between the ages of 26 and 34 might not have time to have had a third.

My favorite sister in law had kids at 30, 33 and 38. She has a master's degree in engineering. So give some of your people until 40... see what happens.

I mean, the U.S. birth rate is still 2.2 kids on average, so more of them are having 3 than are having 1, right?

~rachel~ said...

I like the 1:1 ratio. Maybe if educated women are having fewer it is because they realize how expensive it is to keep having kids. Personally I don't want to drive a mini van and there aren't a lot of options for 3 kids in a car w/o being squished.

Looseyfur said...

Oooh, Rachel and I share a prejudice against the same automobile. :-P

Truthfully though, before joining CARE, I only had one close friend with a kid, but technically, it's still true that most of my friends from high school or college aren't married and if they are, they don't have any children and they're all between 30 and 34.

Hence why I found the meet up group. So what does it mean that most of the people I knew before CARE were educated single or educated partnered people with no children at all.

Quigs78 said...

I was the first one out of my 'group' back home to have kids, let alone two of them. My 30-year-old friends are either just now talking about babies or just now getting pregnant.

I think they were just focused more on their careers out of college than getting married and being a breeder like me.

And I am DYING for a minivan! I so used to be one of those people that cursed minivans - I even said that I would rather drive two cars around than take a minivan. Now it's my dream car. :)

The Fearless Freak said...

LOVE my van. I'm not sure how I ever survived even one kid without it. It is my dream car and I doubt I will have anything smaller any time in the next 15-20 years. By then I'll be thinking grandkids and will probably keep the van just because :)

And LL, are you trying to tell us something? Is this an ever so subtle hint? :)

And the reason that you don't know more people with more than 2 kids is because the others have been committed because their kids drove them crazy LOL

Lindsay said...

Yeah LL, I'm pretty good at sensing what people aren't saying, and you aren't saying that you are among the outnumbered crowd.

While I'd love to join that crowd someday, I'd also love a personal chef, nanny, and full-time housekeeper, and I'm not sure I could pull number three off without all of the aforementioned.

Oh and I'm totally with Quigs on teh minivan. The thought of that heinous vehicle once scared the crap out of me, and now I dream of owning one. How times change.

makeup_girl said...

I think that there is less need for more kids. Meaning, most of us don't live on farms and need the extra man-power to bring in crops or tend to animals. Plus, it's getting so expensive to just raise one or two children. I personally can't imagine being able to afford 3 or 4 kids in today's society.

My neighbor now has 4 kids. My friend Amery has 5 siblings. My cousin, who just turned 30 has 6 like, 3 or 4 different men, but that's a blog for a different day!

I also hate the idea of a mini-van. Ugh. UGLY! I love my car! I drive an Acadia, and it's big enough for 7 people (six comfortably) but it doesn't look like one of those monster SUV's: Hummers, Tahoes, Suburbans, Expeditions, Yukons.

Mommy Schiff said...

I really hate my minivan. Mostly because it's not very fuel efficient and I kinda feel bad driving such a big car with only 3 of us in there most of the time. But I LOVE it on trips and I when the kids are acting crazy I can separate them in different rows.

None of my high school/college friends have kids or are even thinking about kids at this point in their lives. They are all focused on work and a few of them are in grad school. I'm just a loser that got knocked up before I finished school. Good for me...yeah.

Looseyfur said...

Yeah, but then I think of life without big Collin. And that makes me really freaking sad.

Lavender Lemonade said...

Its sad, but our minivan is the first "luxury" vehicle we've ever owned and I love it. I like the nice cushy seats and the automatic doors. Fancy stuff.

Mommy Schiff said...

Yeah, Looseyfur, he's pretty cool =)

lisa said...

I love my minivan and I love my 3 kids....and I'm educated.

You'll be fine.

Leeanthro said...

All that being said, I have a friend getting her PhD who just had her third.

I heard another statistic about red vs. blue states (and I think education level was also part of that study, but more socio-economics and political/religious tendencies). Of course they are all just averages.

I bet you are right about stats of women losing their minds :)

And I have been toying with the idea of a minivan or crossover but when I started researching, I gasped at the horrible gas mileage. Might have to stick with my wagon for a while (which definitely will not seat 3 kids).

Loretta said...

David would say that the third time's the charm, that number three is the most easygoing and wonderful child, and that everyone should have a third child (spoken like a true third child, and a surprise nonetheless!).

And I agree with Looseyfur about giving it a little more time before you permanently put people on your >2 list. I know that aside from my CU mom friends, I only have one other friend who has a kid (and only one other who's pregnant). I fully expect that over the next 10-15 years that number's going to change substantially.

Heck, even though I say two is it for me right now, who knows what the future will bring...(although, please dear god not until at least David finishes his PhD and has a "real" job!)

Lavender Lemonade said...

I have no doubt my list of 'friends with 1-2' might change over the next several years. It would be interesting to re-do in 5 years.

T-Dad and I are both from families of 3 kids...we know the good and the bad that comes with that. But what different about our situation that the genders are mixed. T-Dad only had brothers and I only had sisters, which sets up a totally different dynamic/competition. So I'm hoping the same wicked triangle, 2 against 1 stuff, won't be as prevalent in our situation. Time will tell.