Tuesday, October 20, 2009

What is influencing my kids?

Up until the day before Early Bird was born, I worked full-time outside the home. And my kids were in daycare 45+ hours a week. They spent the bulk of their "awake" time with other people. I got about 2 hours each evening and an hour in the morning, and weekends. That's not a lot of time. It was hard on me, everyday talking them into "going to school". And my mother heartstrings were pulled taut and tight often. I worried about all other kids and adults influencing/impressing my little "blank slate" kids. Now I'm a stay at home mom. I get to be with my kids all day, every day. Bug, of course, goes to kindergarten now and Mealyworm has preschool for 2.5 hrs every day. But I get so much more time with my kids. Now I worry about how I am influencing/impressing them. I am so not a great role model for my kids. The theory out there is that being home with your kids is such a great thing for them...well, I'm not convinced. Their old daycare center seemed way more on top of teaching everyday life skills.


Anonymous said...

Our kids are going to be in school for a LOT of years. Our society, it seems to me, is more and more obsessed with teaching kids more and more earlier and earlier. Personally, although I also focus on substantive teaching more than I like sometimes, I think our job now is just loving them and helping them learn to love themselves. If they learn something else in the offing, then that is a nice bonus. Personally, I think you are a very good role model!

Looseyfur said...

I find this same concern. There are days when I'm extraordinarily happy when I send X-man off to school. Days when I KNOW he's better off in their care than with me because I'm sick or in a bad mood or just have to get shit done (that no one wants to do). It's easier on me and on him. And then there are days, when he's at home and we've really connected and I think, I love this. This is amazing. So, for my sanity and for his, I think the whole split time works out pretty well.

I think you are an awesome, Mom. And like the rest of us who doubt our abilities every day, I think it's a good thing, albeit annoying. It keeps our focus. It makes us work harder. It reminds us that hugs are more important than tying shoes or remembering the numbers 14 and 15 when counting to 20.

Theatredad said...

I feel a lot more confident that our kids are learning what they need to be loving people with them staying home with you than I ever did when they were at the old daycare. Remember all those days of the bad reports that bug would get, with the daily time spent in the office and the long conferences with the teacher at pickup time? How about all those weeks of the daily biting incidents? They are way better off with you. It's not even a close call. You are a great mom! Be confident in your gifts and willingly pass them along!

Lavender Lemonade said...

thanks K and loosey, good to know I'm not alone. and special thanks to theatredad for stopping by. :)