Friday, October 03, 2008

Me and my thoughts on the New baby...ramblings...

So I haven't blogged much about the impending arrival. Truth be told. I don't know if I can be totally honest, out loud, about it. But I'll try to keep it real without causing anyone to hate me. We'll see how it goes.

Well, I'm feeling better...morning-sickness wise, that is. I'm over that hump and into the the dreamy 2nd tri. Barely any heartburn yet, woo-hoo, its good times.

There are many things that weigh heavy on my mind at this time. One of them is...I'm not really looking forward to having a newborn. I know, I know, I should be strung up by my toes for admitting this outloud (in writing) but...they are so much work....and I am soooo lazy. Okay, maybe lazy isn't the right word, but every bit of my 17 minutes of personal time that I have now (and loads more) will be eaten up by this third little one. :)

Kind of related in a Lavender Lemonade sort of way...
The other day someone I've known for a while but haven't ever really "sat down with" to talk said to me..."I've been meaning to get together with you for coffee or something, I'd really like to get to know you and what your beliefs, dreams, ideas are."
Very nice of her to ask and want to get to know me better, but...My instant response...uh..Really, you don't. It would be a very short cup of joe. I'm hollow inside. I'm in survival mode. I'm not really in dream, belief, idea mode like I was in college or high school. Those were times when I relished introspection and deep thinking. I loved and had lots of "over coffee" discussions about beliefs, dreams, ideas. And so much. Right now, maintaining a semi-respectable appearance for myself and my family and a very moderately (okay, barely) clean home is about all I can do. And honestly, soon there's going to be even less attention to be paid to appearance and housework...enter in the new baby.

So in this picture...Mealyworm was like 2 months old I think. And was crying. And nothing would make her happy. And we were at a birthday party for one of Bug's friends. And I had to take my screaming newborn outside so I didn't ruin the party. So I missed some of the fun, not really "my fun" but...well watching Bug have fun is my fun, and I missed that....Is this new baby going to mean I miss out on lots more special moments with my already two precious little ones?


Quigs78 said...

I'm completely with you on the newborn thing. I have very few memories of the first 3-6 months of either child. And I seriously think it's because I just blocked them out or was so sleep deprived that I couldn't remember them.

But don't look at this baby as a memory sucker just yet...just think of it as a different way to create new memories. Sorry - that's the best I could come up with that sounded semi-inspirational.

But if you need help, I'm here! (Barring any unforeseen illnesses, of course!) ;)

The Fearless Freak said...

I don't know too many people who dig the new born stage.

I have way more memories of TB's newborn time than MT's. I also got WAY more sleep with TB and I think sleep deprivation is a huge indicator of how many memories you will form.

Good luck with the new baby. That newborn age is super short compared to the rest of their time so try your best to muddle through and don't be afraid to ask for help!

Harley Quinn said...

First of all, I think you're totally interesting and full of good advice! Someone worth getting to know!

Second of all, you will have lots of help from family and friends, me included.

Plus, it's all T-dad's fault so he better get up on some of those 2 am feedings =)

(just kidding on it being all T-dad's fault but not kidding on the 2 am feedings) =)

Looseyfur said...

I've noticed that there has been a turn towards the pessimistic since you found out about the new baby. But no one has the right to tell you how you should feel about having a baby. Regardless of the circumstances (1st, 3rd, 18th, whatever).

You get to feel how you feel and you get to react and cope and plan and live. And really, I'm very bitchy about this kind of thing. Militant realist about mommydom, really... it's not all easy birth and instant joy and fun.

Instead, it's like you're running four marathons already with 2 kids, a marriage and a career. So yeah, it's okay for you to be tired, upset, unsure and in denial about entering a 5th race.

As parents, we do the best we can for as long as we can. And we take mental health breaks as often as we need. And we team up with other parents that we love and trust and we work together. Lavender, sweetheart, you've got a village here of some tremendously fine women who will stand by you no matter what.

And we lose it, only to wake up the next morning and try to be better. Lots of 20/20 rearview going on...

And as for all that disorganized, lazy stuff -- dude, offer up some decent cake and Chevy's and I swear you can watch Rogers and Quigs get orgasmic over their OCD with the organizing/cleaning.

Whisper the word "Swiffer" and Rogers will swoon. Just let them in, put Todd and the kids in a car and send them to the Orpheum, and you can come over and take a nap or put your feet up and watch a marathon of Roy Dupuis. Just don't be surprised if you return home to find the two of them so spent they're having a smoke on your back porch afterwards. :-P

I'll see you on Sunday. I'm very excited about it. Love you, L.L.

Quigs78 said...

LOL Unfortunately, Loosey is right. I'm a sucker for food - and cleaning supplies. I can use my new fancy break-the-budget cleaning supplies at your house! :)

VeganLinda said...

I have to say that I do love the newborn stage. Sooo easy. They sleep all the time and nurse and you plop them in a carrier and go. The time they start walking/climbing is the toughest for me. Good gods, my house will never be clean again. I forget how tough this stage is and how much of a mess they make when they eat, etc. BUT, it is a whole heck of a lot of fun too. It is understandable to not be thrilled at points during your pregnancy. Until you have 1, 2, 3, or more children you just don't know what it will be like for you. Then they show you that smile and you see a completely new personality come out and you see the baby loving the older sibs and you see the sibs loving the babe and you think "yes, this is what life is all about". A clean house can come later. Sleep can come later. You are growing an amazing little human being who will fit just perfectly in your family and you will wonder how you all lived without him/her. Yes, some times things are hard, but even pre-kids things can be hard. Those hugs, those things they say and do, seeing them grow and play...nothing like it.

~rachel~ said...

Yes the newborn stage is so short- at least that is what I am trying to remind myself everynight when Eli won't go to sleep. But I know that too soon he'll be big and I'll hardly remember him at this age.